The ingenuity of mankind knows no limit. Even in these recessionary economically disastery times of crime-ridden misery, nothing is getting in the way of the human urge to push the boundaries of knowledge and explore the mysteries of unknown. For just last week, we saw the first of a new kind of space mission; a voyage to the heavens the like of which had never been seen before.

Yes, humanity has just managed, kind of, to create the first space flight by a piece of cheese.

Crikey, this has to be one of the most annoying things that corporate businesses has introduced in a while, and that's saying quite a lot with the amounts of business BS that goes on. Better yet, it involves the Poorhouse's most loved form of Geneva-convention breaking public transport (in the UK, at least) - trains. Check this:

A Japanese rail firm has introduced a system to check that staff are smiling enough at all times.

Penguins, those birds so innately classy they lend their name to fancy clothing normally worn only at ambassador's parties and wannabe-impressive drunken corporate events, are apparently in reality no better than the rest of us. Despite the common sense being that humans are the only creatures to enjoy sexual frolicking (aside from dolphins, certain monkeys, and maybe some pigs some would have, but there is a limit to the search phrases the Poorhouse is willing to type into Google on this topic), it seems sex is so hot in the penguin world that the world's oldest profession - delicately referred to by some as "whoring" - works wonders there too.

Yes, "Antarctic dolly-birds are turning tricks to get rocks off their menfolk" reports the BBC.

Only slightly past its sell by date from the journals of Really Should Have Known Better comes word of a special cake-related promotion from Ted Kefalinos of Greenwich Avenue's Lafayette French Pastry bakery. Along with the rest of the US / world he decided to help commemorate the wonders of President Obama's election. Only, unlike most people, he did it via rather racist baked goods.

Here we are - latest product: the Drunken Negro Face.

Check the vid, below.

Time for a berry update. Finally, the Poorhouse got round to ingesting his "miraculin" (science!) filled recreational pills of delight.

Review follows below.

The Poorhouse got all excited once his regular news search for perversions in Sheffield (the Poorhouse's special place, rather than a consequence of his deep love for ex-industrial spoon-making towns) popped up with a nice result or too. Who wouldn't read on and feel a level of local pride upon reading this?

...one of a range of odd items medics in Sheffield have had to remove from people's backsides or genitals.

It's good to be famous for something.

Here's a nice snapshot of a town in Turkey, famous for mostly for its position on a particular river and its oil-producing nature. Not sure if it's top of the 10-places-to-see-before-you-die tourist list but it has been described with such delightful descriptions as "historical glory", "natural richness" and "magnificent". Actually its position and trade isn't why its at all famous really. It has a funny name: Batman.

But we shouldn't mock, and certainly the novelty factor has grated on the nerves of its mayor, one Hüseyin Kalkan.

We all know we're supposed to eat 5 portions of fruit n veg a day right? But do we know what fruit and vegetables actually are in order to actually give us a decent chance at fulfilling said obligation...? According to a recent survey, no we don't. Check it:

One in five [parents] thought that fruit-flavoured sweets, spaghetti hoops and orange squash counted towards the daily target.And although one in ten believed Jaffa Cakes, chips and cola contributed, one in 20 thought oranges or bananas didn't

Haven't we all had that embarrassing phone call with tech support? "Hello user, please tell me your password so we can proceed.". Aside from some rather immense insecurities that often come with such a request, it seems that in at least 77.3% of the time, the password you have to go is something to the effect of "[COMPANY YOU'RE SPEAKING TO]-is-shit-01". Best, of course, done when it's the helpdesk of the company you "loyally" work for. Well, it'd be awkward if you cared, the Poorhouse guesses.

Apparently, some people do.

Mayor Molony: attracts the unattractive

Stereotypical Australia isn't exactly known for its female-respecting culture. The mayor of Mount Isa over there is not doing his best to improve their reputation. But it's all in a good cause: satiating primitive male desires whilst bring a smile to the (ugly) face of love-non-stricken laydeez.

Mount Isa is a "testosterone town" full of male miners. In fact, there's about 5 men to every 1 women out there. Annoying, and not great for the reproductive prospects of that town either the Poorhouse is sure. So, what's the solution?