The Poorhouse has been recently blessed with the introduction of a new pleasure into the occasionally mundane cycle of life. It's a cocktail, without being fancy. It turns alcohol into soft-drink, without losing the effects of getting drunk. In short, it is a miracle craze that is sweeping the nation so much, it even got into the pages of respectable politico-mag-journal the New Statesman, albeit somewhat disparagingly.

Over 18s only of course...

A CV in action: (won't get you a job)

Ingredients - and don't let anyone tell you different. There are no "house rules" in play here. Make it properly, or don't make it at all.

1. Blue WKD (in an emergency any sort of fake blue WKD would likely work)
2. Port (preferably a double)

Put them in a decent size glass. Add ice if you want. Stir. Consume. It genuinely does taste like Vimto, except magically nicer. It is a bit girly, but worth the shame nonetheless.

Q: Can it be ordered in a proper bar?
A: You can try; many places will know it or be prepared to create it. An example of it actually being overtly advertised would be the Wetherspoons / Lloyds #1 chains, where you can buy it (only?) by the pitcher, for somewhere around a relatively bargainous £6.80. However you must ask for "Cheeky V" there, no doubt due to trademarkery related reasons.

As a last ditch attempt you could always ask for the two ingredients separately and combine them yourself, although this may result in a more pricy drink.

The Poorhouse has also recently become a double-fan of yet another, related, cocktail - the Cheeky Lasagne.

Ingredients:

1. Blue WKD (in an emergency any sort of fake blue WKD would likely work)
2. Port (preferably a double)
3. A plate of lasagne

Mix the top two ingredients together a bit. Put to one side and take occasional sips whilst consuming the latter part of the triumphant trio of ingredients. Yum.

Are there any other cheeky versions of soft drinks to rival this euphoric discovery? Research may well begin soon.