A new food scare is about to hit our shores, possibly called DEP*. So far the story has largely been hushed up by the media, with the brave exception of such Reuters-rerun papers as The Scotsman.

Last Friday, whilst workers were doing their stuff to vegetables at the McCain Foods factory in Scarborough, one keen-eyed potato polisher noticed a bomb shell tip in amongst the produce. Sensibly, the police were called and the bomb squad set up a perimeter 100-meter perimeter for safety and dealt with it expertly. Dramatic yes, but a happy ending...or was it?

The day after, evacuation had to happen again. This time floating around the corridors of mash was a complete hand grenade. This time the army had to come and blow it up.

So were McCain fearful for the safety of their workers what with bits of potentially live armoury floating around the factory as a matter of course? Actually, they're not really that bothered it would seem, saying "Occasionally during the use of imported potatoes from Belgium and northern France, ordnance debris from the First and Second World War is found". That's nice.

Normal or not, the Poorhouse has now developed a slight anxiety with regards to the contents of McCains Microchips and suggests you run the package through a metal detector before blasting the tasty (if cardboardy) box with microwave radiation.

(*) Dangerously Explosive Potatoes