Oh dear, despite usually plotting evil behind closed doors, US vice-president Dick Cheney's accidentally said something in public again. Previously famous for shooting his friends and swearing at senators, he's now pretty much confirmed something we all kind of knew.

The Bush administration endorses torture.

In an interview with Scott Hennen, one of America's many conservative radio show hosts, the following exchanges took place:

Hennen: And terrorist interrogations and that debate is another example. And I've had people call and say, please, let the Vice President know that if it takes dunking a terrorist in water, we're all for it, if it saves American lives. Again, this debate seems a little silly given the threat we face, would you agree?
Cheney: I do agree. And I think the terrorist threat, for example, with respect to our ability to interrogate high value detainees like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, that's been a very important tool that we've had to be able to secure the nation.
(snip)
Hennen: Would you agree a dunk in water is a no-brainer if it can save lives?
Cheney: It's a no-brainer for me…

Most sane commentators have interpreted the ultra-euphemistic phrase "dunk in water" as being a reference to the torture technique known as waterboarding.

Waterboarding is fairly simple to explain. In summary, you simply restrain your interrogation subject one way or another and ensure they fear for their life as you do your best to drown them to whatever the point nearest death is called. A favourite version was described by an ABC News report using information gained from officers from the US Central Intelligence Agency as follows.

The prisoner is bound to an inclined board, feet raised and head slightly below the feet. Cellophane is wrapped over the prisoner's face and water is poured over him. Unavoidably, the gag reflex kicks in and a terrifying fear of drowning leads to almost instant pleas to bring the treatment to a halt.

Is this torture? Common sense would say yes, mock executions are indeed both physically and psychologically tortuous, even if no-one ends up dead. A bunch of highly educated fellows featured on Human Rights Watch agree, having written a letter to the US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.

Waterboarding is torture. It causes severe physical suffering in the form of reflexive choking, gagging, and the feeling of suffocation. It may cause severe pain in some cases. If uninterrupted, waterboarding will cause death by suffocation. It is also foreseeable that waterboarding, by producing an experience of drowning, will cause severe mental pain and suffering. The technique is a form of mock execution by suffocation with water. The process incapacitates the victim from drawing breath, and causes panic, distress, and terror of imminent death. Many victims of waterboarding suffer prolonged mental harm for years and even decades afterward.

They go on to write that should a US citizen use this technique they would be guilty of multiple criminal acts, including torture, assault and war crimes.

Artist's impression: (courtesy of DavidCorn.com)So why haven't Cheney and his puppets of evil been locked up? Erm, well, because of course when he said dunking a terrorist in context of interrogation techniques, he claims he never meant waterboarding type dunking. Oh no, of course not. Something much less unpleasant. Much less a war-crime.

What he did mean exactly, he (or rather the White House media people) have yet to tell us. The Poorhouse can therefore only speculate that he meant giving the potential Al Qaeda masterminds a cup of tea and a biscuit, a shower or a nice warm comforting bath in order to relax their tensions and allow them to come forth.

It was also slightly less than reassuring to hear that the denial featured the following phrase: "You think Dick Cheney's going to slip up on something like this? No, come on.". This seems a little less like "no we don't torture people" and a bit more like "we do torture people but we're not so stupid we'll slip up and tell you" to the Poorhouse.

To see the amusing sight of Whitehouse press officer flail around trying to fend off questions about why the (arguably) second most powerful person in America is advocating torture, check out the below clip. Favourite quotes include: "so dunk in the water means, what, we have a pool now at Guantanamo and they go swimming?" and the question "If it doesn't refer to waterboarding, tell me what it could possibly refer to" being replied to by the White House guy saying "No".

…and somehow the world keeps on turning, and the same people stay in power.