Not normally one to break into the furore of cutting-edge multimedia development, the Poorhouse recently was "playing with sound", as one does, and found a cool free GPL program which was plenty powerful enough for at least amateur messing, and most likely the more pro podcasts too. This program was Audacity, available via Windows, OS X and Linux-type systems.

Amongst its many varied features, it can record from pretty much any sort of input, create, splice, combine etc. multitrack recordings, apply effects (such as adjust-pitch-without-tempo, remove static hiss, echo), works with numerous file formats and accepts plug-ins to enhance its feature set further. Thoroughly recommended, although of course editing sound live does require a half-decent computer if you don't want to go make a cup of tea between each button press.

The Poorhouse does not like to recommend products willy-nilly, so obviously a test had to be made of it. As it was a free program, we thought we'd dedicate the test to getting things for free too, and have attached the output file to this post for interested listeners.

A swift recap of the story behind this event…Subject "X" (identity protected unless she (oops) decides to make herself (oops) known) entered a Waitrose supermarket and procured a DVD. For those interested in the details, it was "Saw", which the Poorhouse likes but finds a bit scary in places, particularly if, like the author of this article, you are adverse to mild puppetry.

After watching it once, it was deemed good, but not something wanted to watch again. A covert Panorama style investigation then ensued to see whether one could take it back to the store without even claiming to have a good reason. Subject X, a specialist in this area, was wired for sound and proceeded with said task. Despite minor distractions such as "co-incidentally meeting someone you know" the mission was a success. Upon the double-invalid excuse of "I accidentally bought this video by mistake", and better yet "It was too gory for me", not only did the money get refunded for the obviously-unsealed DVD (whose cover illustration could only have denoted violence and gore), but somehow an extra penny was redeemed. Thus Waitrose actually paid us to watch their DVD. We can assure you extra penny will be put to good use, perhaps not-buying more DVDs or undergoing the Cillit Bang test (more on this later for any unfamiliar with that internationally famed product).

The Poorhouse is unaware of the legal intricacies of this action, so if you try to rip stores off be it on your own heads. Despite that disclaimer, we do have an unhealthy interest in funny and audacious taking-it-back stories, so send 'em in. Don't bother sending any comments regarding the lameness of the attached file because the Poorhouse is fully aware of the lack of talent indicated within it. It's no Cillit Bang (again - stay tuned). Any experienced remixers out there…help yourself.