Talk about end of an era. 184 days after the Poorhouse first got an urge to eat a raisin followed by an irrational desire to create one from scratch (well, from a grape) to test if the apocryphal story of what they come from was true, the experiment is over.
The world has changed plenty in the past half year, but has the grape?
In all honesty, the experimental sources say yes. Visually, it seems the crux of the transformation happened somewhere between day 22 and 32 of the dead grape's existence, that being when it turned from a slightly dented rotten looking grape to a luxurious brown leathery sac. Nontheless, in the interests of long-term evaluation (and reluctance to eat old things) the experiment was continued for a further five months or so. This now seems excessive. Perhaps 1.5 months or so would have been sufficient.
Where angels fear to tread the Poorhouse does not fear to eat. After some investigative slicing and dicing, a nasal analysis was taken and, fairly unexpectedly, it smelt of raisin. A dark, intense Christmas-cake-type raisin.
The Poorhouse proceeded to cleanse the tastebud area and inserted a slice of ex-grape. Hmmm. Chewy. Chewier than your average raisin. The folds of grape-skin still had an uncharacteristic crunch to them, almost like apple peel. However, swilling the grape around the mouth to use the most sensitive areas of tastebuds revealed that there was no question: it did in fact taste like - not a grape - but a raisin!
So, are raisins just dried out grapes? Based on the results of this experiment, we say yes they are (*). Case closed.
(*) Although the world of commerce no doubt adds plenty of chemicals to make them "nicer" and longer lasting for storage in mass warehouses dirtier than even the Poor House.
Comments
My congratulations to you
Well down old bean. Not only have you proven the previously suspected apocryphal story not in fact so to be but you mustered the doubtlessly large dose of courage required to eat the result of your scientific experiment - rarely a wise option but in this case a necessary one. In so doing you have put to rest not merely the doubting minds of a breathless world but proven yourself to be the proud possessor of some of the mightiest finest kahunas this side of a place where they make even mightier and finer kahunas (a distant land to be sure).
I am most pleased you too
I am most pleased you too see satisfaction in knowing the whole truth (assuming hackers did not get into the system and change the experimental verdict by the time you read this) and most grateful for your kind words. I know no fear (although much reticence) when it comes to grape eating. I didn't even need to take any form of "Dutch Courage". For the first time in 20-something years I feel I have gone through half a year and not entirely wasted my existence.
The only problem is that now my life feels sadly empty and meaningless. I need suggestions for more radical investigations – are there any more questionable theorems out there that the Poorhouse could test (without going to any great exertion or cost of course, there are still some idleness standards to maintain)?
Make a...
prune, make a prune! (Think it's a dried plum?!)
Dried things
Yay! Thank you so much. Mission accepted. Life has meaning again. I'm amazed there are multiple foodstuffs that are supposedly created by leaving things out to dry. What a scam. I don't really know what a prune is made from but I'll take your word and a strong dose of science for it. Plum acquisition underway.
Although not really being into eating prunes any time recently I may need a co-experimenter more familiar with such items to do at least half the taste test with. I'll be seeking volunteers in about half a year or so.
Could be a challenge in
Could be a challenge in itself to find a fresh plum at this time of year! Prunes do have useful medicinal purposes, but how about converting a herb, say parsley, into its dried, long-life counterpart? Don't know how obtainable it is in your area, but I have plenty and would be willing to donate some to such a noble cause, if you are interested!
Fair point, I don't think
Fair point, I don't think I've ever tried to buy a plum. Maybe it will prove too hard but I won't quit without trying. Surely some horrible supermarket will have a genetically modified one coated in pesticide flown around the world I could play with.
Much gratitude re the herbs. I kind of already believe that dried parsley is parsley but dried - but it certainly never hurts to check it out. Plus it would be interesting to see if it actually looks like what one buys as dried parsley, or just like mouldy wet parsley. Maybe I will dare to run 2 experiments simultaenously.
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