Cheapskate mofos, forgetful idiots, the Poorhouse is proud to point you in the direction of the ultimate Valentine's day cards to keep everything sweet with the wife / mistress. You still have at least 6 hours to download this, print out on the office printer, steal an envelope from the stationery cupboard and throw in the general direction of your intended.

And if you need some inspiration for what to put in it, the Poorhouse can heartily recommend the eighth poem down on the page which appears to be highly inaccurately titled "Short Funny Valentines Poems". Well, funny is as funny does one imagines, but the Poorhouse has laughed harder elsewhere.