Sarah Palin: nasty

As you might have heard, it's not so far off before the election for the President of the great free world and universe etc. (i.e. the United States) is to take place. Candidates are in place, debates are in motion, and the usual kind of tedious - but not as tedious as the UK it must be said - political process is in action.

One particular enlivening star in a world of otherwise lacklustre Republican (ugh) politicos is of course Sarah Palin, the vice-presidential candidate to John McCain's presidency for their party. The more the Poorhouse learns about her, the more bad-film-fictitious the whole event seems. The film "Legally Blonde", as well as being awesome, had a greater credibility to it than the thought of Palin as VP (and perhaps even the president, should McCain who is not far off the average US life expectancy sort of age anyway, plus has his all too often mentioned Vietnam war injuries to contend with) come to a sticky end - and the protagonist was a whole lot more decent too.

Not nice? This "hockey mom"? Well, not really. Her political campaign so far owes a lot to her stand on abolishing corruption: but she has been involved in various abuse-of-power allegations herself. Her moralistic views: well you can probably guess, her being both right-wing, Republican, American and Christian: and sadly not in the nice Jesusesque-forgiveness way but rather the dangerous preachy way.

Of course she's against gay marriages et al. She also would like to see the teaching of the babbling nonsense that is creationism: fine as a religious history lesson or similar, rather less so in the science class she desires as an alternative to evolution, unless the evidence base for it has massively changed since the Poorhouse last saw anything about it. Best of all she is of course anti-choice (yep, note the Poorhouse's propagandarous  terminology, but opinions like that deserve it), being anti-abortion is almost every way. She's not all evil: When the prospective mother will actually die as a result of pregnancy she might let a termination or two go through, but if you're a poor innocent traumatised girl that has suffered the unspeakable horrors of rape or incest, I'm afraid you'll be having that baby if you subscribe to her idiotic world-view. She has specifically said that even if her own (14-year old at the time) daughter was raped she'll be keeping any resultant baby should she not want to suffer motherly wrath. And given she's the Governor of a state with more than twice the national average rape rate, of which a quarter end in pregnancies, you'd think she'd especially known better.

Of course her daughter, now around 17, is pregnant as it happens - teenage pregnancy!? Out of wedlock!? Thankfully consensually though, as far as we know. She must be a disappointment to her mother's wholesome family values and love of abstinence only sex ed. One has to pity the daughter: not only is she named "Bristol" but knowing her mother would nigh on mandate her to bear a child even in the worst possible sex attack circumstances, one imagines she felt a little pressured as to her decision if this baby was anything other than meticulously planned.

If she wasn't born into such a privileged family she'd be rather poor though, with Ms Palin senior slashing the little governmental help that teen mothers get there already. Just in case she does need an out, comedian Doug Stanhope has set up a site where he pledges thousands of dollars and channels readers donations to help Bristol out of this situations should she not want it, or failing that, at least other women in the same situation. It's a bit showy, but the Poorhouse guesses anything that raises money for a good cause is worth a mention.

Enough of this seriousness, let's get some giggles. Not only is Palin a monster, but she also comes across a bit stupid. Yes, the current president doesn't appear as a intellectual to many with his misguided and occasionally hilarious misunderestimated word mashups, but it seems the Repubs haven't learnt their lesson (or maybe McCain wasn't concentrating on what she said exactly the one time he met her pre-nomination). The current clip of hilarity circulating teh interwebs is and interview from Katie Couric, specifically the part about foreign policy. Check it out:

Her foreign policy credentials are enhanced because "our next door neighbours are foreign countries"!?

It's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where — where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is — from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to ... to our state

WTF!?

And no, Putin does not go to Alaska all the time. And exactly what are you sending out his way? Bless Katie for trying to keep her on track and fill in her missing words, but it just doesn't work.

Even the parodies can't be much funnier than the reality. Here's Saturday Night Live's rather accurate portrayal. Pardon the adverts at the start of the clip (not the Poorhouse's fault).

It should also be noted that apparently although Russia might be quite near Alaska, Ms Palin hasn't actually seen it herself. In this way, the Poorhouse is way more suited - on knowledge of foreign policy issues alone - to be the President of the Moon.

Vote Poorhouse 08.