The Poorhouse is constantly disappointed by only receiving a few hundred emails a day offering either "enlargo" or better yet some intricately complex - yet plausible - offer to give him a billion pounds in return for ooh, a mere few hundred of them or so. In advance. Yes, the money hasn't come through yet, but it's only a matter of a few more sendings of identity and moderately large sums of money to Nigeria away I'm sure.

Luckily, the physical doormat was also crammed with spam the other day - the finest of which is portrayed below.

Yep, sent to us all the way from Spain, at a cost of 0.58 Euros plus envelope and typing technology costs, came this:

Bonus! Bonus!! Bonus!!! As of the 14th of "Septeimber" the Poorhouse is 615,810 Euros richer. You'd think he'd cancel the Google ads eh?

Can you believe there was a mix-up of numbers and names, so this information must remain private? Oops, wipe your memories please. Two other highlights of the letter include:

• The Foreign Service Manager of the claims company having only a free Yahoo address as his email.
• The photograph of the Ministeria De Hacienda revealing that, by some bizarre coincidence, they share the same fingers-crossed logo as the British National Lottery, albeit in a particularly photoshopped-looking way.

Needless to say the Poorhouse would love to comply with every last request of these kind gents and retrieve the money, should he be able to afford the postage to Spain.

It seems so ridiculous that it's almost tempting to follow through with the correspondence just to see what more hilarious lies might follow and what massive postage could be induced. Sadly am a bit busy now though for that sort of malarkey, and besides, it's been done so well before.