Christmas is over for another year now, so it seems the perfect time to reveal a deep, dark truth.

Readers under the age of 18 close your eyes now. For everyone else - the red-n-white Santa Claus who flies via reindeer technology to every child's house on the 25th of December to give away presents as portrayed in all ye olde Xmas cards does not actually exist.

Anyone who has at this point not died of shock or become too miserable to continue might like to hear that the Poorhouse may have committed some horrendous breach of good faith by saying that. Certainly Ladysmith Junior School, Exeter, is in the ethereal Santa's "naughty" category from this point on.

Last month, some pupils at that school were doing a nice Christmas-themed worksheet, downloaded from the Hamilton Trust. It contained the apparently controversial phrase that "many small children believe in Santa" and mentioned that in reality any letters posted to Santa (about 750,000 a year) actually get responded to by the Post Office. Horrors! Worse was to come: the pupils' task was then to write a reply to on of these innocent believers explaining why they could not actually have whatever present they had greedily demanded.

Yes, it seems that children in state-organised education were accidentally told the truth about how the world works. This did not go down well with parents and many complaints erupted. One who actually saw the sheet had the following terrifying words to say:

When I saw it I instantly realised what it meant. It is not up to anyone apart from the parent. I have received no apology. The damage is done.

So what did the school do? Laugh in the face of these parents who would seemingly prefer their kids grew up believing nonsense? Not that it's exactly fun to go around shattering illusions, but it's hardly the end of the world.

Not at all: profuse and dramatic apologies followed in verbal and written form from the Jackie Jackson, the headteacher concerned.

The choice of this worksheet was a genuine mistake by a teacher which we are sad about...This worksheet will never be used in the school again.

Whatever next? As one commenter noted on the Times' rendition of the story: "I mean, good gracious, you'll be telling me that the Tooth Fairy isn't real next!!".

Now thankfully chased out of the Ladysmith school it seems the worksheet, or at least its offensive content, may be rearing its ugly head elsewhere. The Daily Mail (in shock of course) produces a couple more similar examples. Christmas was "ruined" by a teacher at Calcot Junior School who similarly broke the myth of Father Christmas. Not only have the necessary apologies et al. taken place, the governors there are looking at the bigger picture. To quote one, commenting on the latest educational crisis: "We also have issues with things like the Tooth Fairy."

Given in this day and age kids really just want their toys and don't care where they come from, it could be more realistically said that Christmas actually was ruined for a supply teacher from Boldmere Junior School, Sutton Coldfield. Uttering the phrase "All of you are old enough to know there is no Father Christmas or fairies" her fate was sealed. She was reportedly given the sack - and not by Santa Claus (ho ho ho).

Optional audience participation segment: What is your favourite lie that you've ever told a kid?