Penguins, those birds so innately classy they lend their name to fancy clothing normally worn only at ambassador's parties and wannabe-impressive drunken corporate events, are apparently in reality no better than the rest of us. Despite the common sense being that humans are the only creatures to enjoy sexual frolicking (aside from dolphins, certain monkeys, and maybe some pigs some would have, but there is a limit to the search phrases the Poorhouse is willing to type into Google on this topic), it seems sex is so hot in the penguin world that the world's oldest profession - delicately referred to by some as "whoring" - works wonders there too.

Yes, "Antarctic dolly-birds are turning tricks to get rocks off their menfolk" reports the BBC.

Although no specific memory is held, there is every chance the Poorhouse has been called a "cockroach" in his short time on this planet so far. There is, as a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found, at least one obvious similarity.

Both have brains that really do not work well in the morning.

Media empires and their hard hitting scandals huh? Unlike, it would seem, much of the rest of the blogosphere, the Poorhouse quite likes the BBC now and then. However, it turns out that it too is rotten to the core. Yep, in recent times flagship wholesome children's sticky-back-plastic send-us-milk-bottle-tops lovely programme Blue Peter is mired in scandal.

Take a look at that cute-as kitten on the right. Ahhh. Who would have thought that its very existence would have caused Richard Marson, ex Blue-Peter editor, to be sent home and suspended from his job. And all because the 8th Blue Peter kitten (favourite toy: plastic drinking straw) there had the wrong name.

Some time ago we learnt that a certain Mr Tombe was forced - perhaps not too unwillingly, who knows - to marry a goat by Sudanese elders after being discovered being far, far too friendly with it. It is with deep sadness that the Poorhouse now has to report that said goat, a black and white honey named Rose, has died. Cause of death: choking on a plastic bag.

Those "Litter Kills" campaigns we used to see around were clearly devastatingly accurate.

They're right, sunbathing can be dangerous.

(Click picture to enlarge)

Cat: made for youCats are kind of nice, cuddly, friendly things most of the time, but many people suffer intentionless-harm from them. Somewhere around 2% of the population (in the US anyway) reportedly suffer from some sort of cat allergy. For anyone wanting non-Loreal style science, it is because cats have a protein allergen called Fel d 1 which appears like an evil air-borne monster via their sebaceous glands.

Back for moreToday is the 10-day anniversary of our potentially ongoing series of goat news, so what better way to celebrate than by offering the chance to win a goat? Not that the Poorhouse has one, and moreover actually it's too late. Nonetheless had you been a) a bit earlier, and probably b) a bit better at rugby, you could have joined Scottish "stars" Chris Paterson and Marcus Di Rollo at a charitable rugby tournament - first prize being a herd of goats.

The Scots aren't the only ones to fancy a bit of goat. Last month saw the coronation of King Louis. Now, it's not what you're thinking, the French Sun King has not been reborn 300-odd years after saying his final goodbyes. Rather, Louis is a wild mountain boy-goat from Ireland's highest mountain, Carrauntoohill. As part of the Puck Fair (we said 'Puck' - although to be fair the festival is thought to have "fertility" connotations) a goat is regularly crowned as being the King of Ireland.

Last month, a cow-related story swept the media-waves. It was reported that not only are the formerly-regarded human traits of lesbianism and grudge-holding potentially rife in our bovine friends, but moreover they also have regional accents.

Lloyd Green, a Glastonbury farmer, came to the fore saying "I spend a lot of time with my ones and they definitely moo with a Somerset drawl.". The mind boggles. In his view it is all down to that special relationship between owner and future hamburger - "The closer a farmer's bond is with his animals, the easier it is for them to pick up his accent.". But all is not necessarily as it seems.

Me again!Yes readers, thanks to our latest addition, we now present to you the second part of this week's Goat news. Here, again, we see the level of dear love that the world has for these creatures, wholly unrealised by the Poorhouse until this point.

Let's start with drunkenness. Alcohol mixed with goats is a dangerous game. So found Carl Myles, age should-know-better 20 who got drunk. The alcohol inebriation exerted its typical symptoms of lowering his inhibitions. Oh dear.

In a week tediously dominated (according to UK mass media) by the largely pointless childish squabbling of our political rulers in the (New) Labour party as to who is the biggest bestest tyrant of all, it was with great pleasure that the Poorhouse received some breaking goat news.

The species has famously been applauded for its firm, if over-violent, way of dealing with menacing trolls. It seems they have yet more virtuous talents, namely maintaining speed limits in the dangerous world of automobile driving.