The ingenuity of mankind knows no limit. Even in these recessionary economically disastery times of crime-ridden misery, nothing is getting in the way of the human urge to push the boundaries of knowledge and explore the mysteries of unknown. For just last week, we saw the first of a new kind of space mission; a voyage to the heavens the like of which had never been seen before.

Yes, humanity has just managed, kind of, to create the first space flight by a piece of cheese.

You may recall - if you have the memory of an elephant and actually read anything around here - the Poorhouse's distaste for the idea of the Bacon Bar, a chocolate bar with ingrained bacon. The thought at the time was to take 2 of the sublimest tastes known to humanity, inappropriately combine them into one product, and then have a cheek to sell it at £2 per ounce, was an outrageous waste. Cognitively, it still seems that way.

However, since then, the Poorhouse has great reason to thank Stu of Crazy4Flavour, the UK distributors of "Bacon Salt" who has inclined the Poorhouse to confront his prejudices and give it - or rather a bargainous equivalent - a go.

Only slightly past its sell by date from the journals of Really Should Have Known Better comes word of a special cake-related promotion from Ted Kefalinos of Greenwich Avenue's Lafayette French Pastry bakery. Along with the rest of the US / world he decided to help commemorate the wonders of President Obama's election. Only, unlike most people, he did it via rather racist baked goods.

Here we are - latest product: the Drunken Negro Face.

Check the vid, below.

Time for a berry update. Finally, the Poorhouse got round to ingesting his "miraculin" (science!) filled recreational pills of delight.

Review follows below.

Funny product names are always to be included in the purile pit of juven-humour seen to be floating around the Poorhouse, but it's not always the case that they a) are not unfortunately-named foreign imports, b) have TV ads, and c) are related to some of the most sensitive of health subjects.

Check this:

Chocolate. Oh yes. Bacon. Oh yes. Bacon chocolate? Oh no.

Yes, of course someone had to make that probably-foul leap. What is the food world coming to? First the Poorhouse's once-vegetarianly inclined nearest and dearest start to eat guinea pigs with faces on, and now some twonk is breaking with the tradition of serving unhealthy but yummy evil in seperate courses by shoving bacon into chocolate.

Here's Mo's Bacon Bar.

You can only buy it in one UK shop, Selfridges, and you can't buy it quite now as it sold out within 48 hours of launch, but stocks no doubt will be replenished should you need it. Best save up though, it's £5.99 for 3 ounces. Substantially more expensive than the not-quite-so-revolting-sounding but still rough "Chilli Chocolate" the Poorhouse once saw in the local Home Bargains.

Says a fancy foodie working at Selfridges: it's "a real explosion of flavours". Maybe, Ewan, but not all explosions are good, are they? Just ask the anti-terrorist squad.

We can blame a company called Vosges Haut-Chocolat for this, and many other boke-creatingly poor creations - chocolate with lumps of mushrooms in anyone? Curse them for involving the word "enchanted" in the product title, conflicting the Poorhouse's lust for the more mind-bending things our Lord God Creator thought to bestow on us with his distaste for people deliberating ruining otherwise beautously edible things (yes, this from the Poorhouse whose raison d etre is essentially the thrill of the chase pursuing battered cheese).

We all know we're supposed to eat 5 portions of fruit n veg a day right? But do we know what fruit and vegetables actually are in order to actually give us a decent chance at fulfilling said obligation...? According to a recent survey, no we don't. Check it:

One in five [parents] thought that fruit-flavoured sweets, spaghetti hoops and orange squash counted towards the daily target.And although one in ten believed Jaffa Cakes, chips and cola contributed, one in 20 thought oranges or bananas didn't

One of the many, many annoyances of office-spaces and other workplaces is food theft. Most anywhere where you have a communal fridge there is associated fridge-theft. It's understandable - someone is always going to have brought in a packed lunch with a delicious sandwich far of superior quality to your own bag of "value" crisps. And, just like love and war, anything goes in the dull tedium of the average office-place.

Luckily you can employ cunning strategies to defend your wares. Poison in the cheese is probably a bit over the top, unless it's been a really tiresome day. Enter the Anti-theft Lunch Bag.

From yesterday's rabid tabloid campaign to a different campaign, this time by the hater's favourite newspaper, the Daily Mail. Only the really exceptional thing is that the Poorhouse actually supports this one. Having just 2 minutes ago eaten half of a 2-course meal made for four himself, an addiction for moneysaving expertise and an inherent hatred of the larger type of corporation, this was a born winner.

So here it is: "Shoppers 'cheated' as supermarket brands downsize". Yes, it's true, and not just old men moaning about stuff, food has got smaller recently. In size, that is, not price, what with UK food inflation having hit a record 13.7% last month.

Whilst doing his usual hardened research into what substances can be semi-legitimately used to water down beer should his nearest and dearest get a bit too greedy, the Poorhouse came across a fabulous booze study. Any study whose published write-up includes:

Our first three experiments were conducted at two local pubs: The Muddy Charles and The Thirsty Ear.

can't go far wrong.