Penguins, those birds so innately classy they lend their name to fancy clothing normally worn only at ambassador's parties and wannabe-impressive drunken corporate events, are apparently in reality no better than the rest of us. Despite the common sense being that humans are the only creatures to enjoy sexual frolicking (aside from dolphins, certain monkeys, and maybe some pigs some would have, but there is a limit to the search phrases the Poorhouse is willing to type into Google on this topic), it seems sex is so hot in the penguin world that the world's oldest profession - delicately referred to by some as "whoring" - works wonders there too.

Yes, "Antarctic dolly-birds are turning tricks to get rocks off their menfolk" reports the BBC.

The Poorhouse got all excited once his regular news search for perversions in Sheffield (the Poorhouse's special place, rather than a consequence of his deep love for ex-industrial spoon-making towns) popped up with a nice result or too. Who wouldn't read on and feel a level of local pride upon reading this?

...one of a range of odd items medics in Sheffield have had to remove from people's backsides or genitals.

It's good to be famous for something.

Funny product names are always to be included in the purile pit of juven-humour seen to be floating around the Poorhouse, but it's not always the case that they a) are not unfortunately-named foreign imports, b) have TV ads, and c) are related to some of the most sensitive of health subjects.

Check this:

So the verdict is in, and the Obama & Biden (Biden? Who's he?) dream team are in, with the biggest democratic vote % in, erm, lots and lots of years - 364 vs 162 electoral college votes, and 52.5% vs 46.2% of the popular vote. Whoop. But that's still no license to let Palin ride easy. After all, she may not be on the verge of presidency any more - well, not for 8 years or so, but she still is in control of something one imagines.

Let's laugh at her for a bit. A couple of comedians from Quebec managed to get on the phone to Ms Palin her very self, and using their best dodgy French accents made out that they were indeed President Sarkoz. He runs France, for any non-Europeans. Check it:

Mayor Molony: attracts the unattractive

Stereotypical Australia isn't exactly known for its female-respecting culture. The mayor of Mount Isa over there is not doing his best to improve their reputation. But it's all in a good cause: satiating primitive male desires whilst bring a smile to the (ugly) face of love-non-stricken laydeez.

Mount Isa is a "testosterone town" full of male miners. In fact, there's about 5 men to every 1 women out there. Annoying, and not great for the reproductive prospects of that town either the Poorhouse is sure. So, what's the solution?

Now we live in a world where high-speed Internet access is almost as essential to modern rich-guy life as say water, net neutrality is a potential hot topic. Net neutrality refers to the historic practice of your ISP granting (kind of) equal access to the internet, no matter what you do with that access – subject to legality au naturelle. From Google's – who of course have a vested interest in this – guide:

Network neutrality is the principle that Internet users should be in control of what content they view and what applications they use on the Internet…the broadband carriers should not be permitted to use their market power to discriminate against competing applications or content.

Shock! Horror! Evil! etc. as the Telegraph splashes the following headline in massive print over its front-page a couple of days ago.

Children of nine may get sex advice packs

Imagine the expressions of fear on the Tory-inclined readers' faces as they read that kids are getting nigh-on-pornographic books promoting going out and getting their fellow 9 year olds diseased and pregnant (well, maybe, read the sex advice pack for possibilities). No doubt it includes graphic illustrations of "dirty sanchez" et al. How on earth could a responsible Government allow this?

Welcome readers. In the first of what probably won't actually turn out to be a series of cartoony but educational excitement, the Poorhouse is setting out to learn about the birds and the bees from none other than the uber-authoritative source that is the Usborne book of "How Your Body Works". We have previously seen how stupid abstinence based programmes like the Silver Ring Thing are ineffective and probably dangerous, so let's see if this book teaches us a bit more about the inner workings of...snigger snigger...sex.

The military does like to play around with vast sums of tax-payers money with little apparent gain to be sure. No matter how stupid, unethical or needless a scheme is, if it can have the word "weapon" attached to it then it's a winner with the warmongering classes.

The Berkley Sunshine Project, a watchdog organisation particularly into biological weapon investigation, recently used the Freedom of Information Act to get the great minds at the Pentagon to 'fess up to having a go at creating that most sensible, credible and mature of weapons....the Gay Bomb.

The Poorhouse previously ranted about the failures of the US-led Silver Ring Thing abstinence-only sex "education". Now it seems some more results are in regarding the $176,000,000 Federally-funded abstinence programmes that George "it's worked when it's tried" Bush et al. so favour.

Mathematica Policy Research Ltd have recently published a survey study carried out under instructions from the US Congress. Whilst the study itself runs to a rather humoungous 164 pages, in summary they split a bunch of the US kids that these abstinence programmes target in two and gave one of the halves a pile of abstinence counselling a la the Ring Thing, and left the other half to get on with it as they see fit.

Upon review, the 16 year old respondents who had not been given the abstinence treatment lost their virginity at a rather low - and rather illegal - age of 14.9. So is the Poorhouse going to have to swallow the anti-ring words previously spat out and learn to love the wisdom of President Bush?