(Please forgive the Poorhouse for the appalling attempt at a pun in the headline)

One of the great objects of desire last Christmas was of course the new games console from Nintendo called the Wii. The Poorhouse was no exception to the trend, and all the stories about how many injuries all this almost-not-virtual boxing creates were nothing but an added incentive to get one. As ever Christmas obsessive craziness, it opened the doors to plenty of top price eBay action. Even for its packaging materials, and, in one case, for their manifold child cruelty potentials.

Starting off at the beginning, at least one kind eBayer decided to auction off their receipt for a Wii. Bidding for an "original 'Nintendo Wii' Best Buy Sales Receipt. Dated 11/19/2006" was intense, despite the fact that the seller's personal information was obliterated with blue ink leaving the only valuable reason for possessing such a thing - identity theft - largely unavailable. This didn't deter the punters at all - vital stats include 21 bids and a final price of US $451.

Slightly less insanely, a few people decided that whilst they loved their shiny new gamey thing they could do without finding loft-space for the box it came in. As with all useless tat, eBay was the obvious marketplace. Some did rather well out of it too, including one "opened only once" going for US $247.50.

A slightly more premium rated version where the box had not even ever been used at all went for nearly double that US $510. Although it quite clearly states "Nothing is included" the advert was perhaps 1% misleading to those of a low concentration span by including such selling information as "Here's a list short list of what is would be included in the retail selling of a Nintendo Wii". The blurb gives what could only really be the only valid reason for such a purchase:

This box can be used to hold many things that will fit inside of it. The box can also be used to impress your friends. Tell them that you got a wii and show them the box. As long as they dont ask to play it, you're in the clear!

It seems money can buy friends.

But the absolute highlight of hilarity must come from another empty-box seller, whose auction was so damn funny it had to be cancelled. Some doubt the veracity of the story but either way the advert write-up has to be worth a read. Put yourself in the mind of a pestered, tired dad with greedy annoying kids demanding insanely priced goods 24 hours a day. Buy their ungrateful silence at a vast financial cost yet again did you? Here's what you could have done:

This auction is for an EMPTY Nintendo Wii Box. just the empty box that the Wii came in. You are probably asking yourself why i'm selling an empty wii box and think im trying to scam people but here is the real reason why: I have kids that have been real bad that last couple of years, especially during Christmas time.

They would yell and scream and whine every single day for some expensive present that i absolutely refuse to buy but they eventually get because their mom buys it for them. All those years i've had the idea of just buying the box of the toy but have nothing in them and giving it to my kids. Well, last Christmas, that was what i did.

They had desperately wanted a nintendo GAMECUBE that i refused. They'd been misbehaving throughout the year and i was not going to give in to their demands. But, I was smarter this year. I knew my wife was going to get it for them since they were getting to be pretty cheap so i pretended to give in. I bought an actual brand new Gamecube and showed it to my wife so she wouldnt go out and buy another one. She was happy! The next day i opened it up and took out the actual system and cables and everything and donated it to the children's shelter. Put some rocks to weigh down the empty box and wrapped it neatly in wrapping paper and stuck it under the tree. My wife was so proud of me. Christmas day came and my kids were so excited, like they somehow knew they were gonna get the Gamecube. The unwrapped my present frantically.

The look on their face when they see their dream toy followed by their crushed faces when they find out there was NOTHING in them and the HORRIFIED face of my wife while i laugh hysterically had beaten ANY christmas present i'd ever gotten. They cried and cried while hugging the walls like they were being tortured. Imagine that N64 kid on youtube, then imagine Jesus in Passion of the Christ.

Now guess what? my kids actually have been pretty well behaved this year so i ended up getting them an early christmas present, the Nintendo Wii.

I could not get off my mind, however, they countless parents in the U.S. that have bratty whiny little kids this year that would love to see them crushed in the heart as they find out their present is empty. Now it's time to pass the torch. What an ultimate lesson this would be to teach your kids to behave. I guarantee they will learn from this and be a whole lot better next year.

So that is why im selling my Nintendo Wii box. Instead of having to buy the actual system and get rid of the console, you can just buy the box this time from me. Buy this item, go home and show your wife that you've already gotten them their present. You can even let an "accidental" slip of the box to your kids while your wrapping it. Then on Christmas day, be ready to see the greatest emotional wonder in the world!

PLEASE READ THIS: I am donating 20% of the total final auction price to the CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION FOUNDATION. I am strongly against physical child abuse but temporary emotional damage is a-ok with me.

I will even provide a BAG O' ROCKS if you want so you can weigh the box down so it feels like theres something inside for an additional fee.

Here is even some system specs you can print out and show your kids before they open it. let them oo and aah over them:

Nintendo's Wii video game system (pronounced "we") is designed to attract people, regardless of their age or video game experience, to sit down and play together--whether they're in the same room or on different sides of the globe. The system's name reflects this simple idea. It's easily pronounced in a variety of languages, and the distinctive spelling suggests two players side by side. The two Wii features Nintendo thinks will create new levels of gaming community are built-in Wi-Fi access, supported by a new online gaming service, and Wii's intuitive, wireless, motion-sensitive game controller.